So I sold out, and for the past three days I’ve been swiping left and right on Tinder, but mainly left…

Whilst all my friends and every teenager with an iPhone got on the Tinder bandwagon, I showed no interest. I was suspicious of an app that used your Facebook details, and to be quite honest, I don’t think any sort of relationship can truly form online.

Especially when that ‘relationship’ starts with a flick to the right.

But curiosity got the better of me and I’ve now got this dangerously addictive app on my iPad.


So if you’re not familiar with Tinder, it’s classed as a fresh and new innovative app that let’s you connect to ‘singles’ in your area. If you like the look of someone, simply swipe right. If you get some ugly bitch, simply swipe left. And all of that’s anonymous! Gr8.

Now, you don’t know if you’ve matched with anyone unless you both swipe right for yes. When you get a match, an exciting display pops up letting you know you’ve matched with a cutie, and urges you to start a conversation. In the three days I’ve been on there, I’ve started every conversation. And they’ve all been the same.

Tinder gives you a prompt, such as ‘Say something witty!’ ‘Compliment them!’ ‘We only regret the chances we didn’t take…’ But how do you say something witty without coming across like the local lunatic? How do you compliment some stranger without sounding needy? Why would I regret not talking to someone I’ve only seen a couple of photographs on?!

But before you think I’m taking this app too seriously, I’m not. It’s very fun!

So once you’ve matched, the idea is you start a conversation and in no time at all you’ve been on five dates, moved in together, got married and had children.

Well, not quite that but you know.

However, it’s not possible to move in with someone when the conversation goes a little something like this:



You okay?

Yeah, you?

Yeah I’m good. Up to much?

Nah. Let me see your cock.

Okay, so only one person has asked me that and I have not obliged. If you get creeps like that, you can simply unmatch! Easy.

It seems that like with many dating apps, people are only on there for sex. Which is fair enough if that’s what you’re hoping for, too. But to me, I’d rather it be a little less superficial. I think if you’re gonna meet someone, you need to have a connection. If you both have that connection, you need to be in it for the relationship side, as well as anything else.

I’m not saying that doesn’t happen online. Long distance relationship works, and with the Internet bringing people together it’s easier than ever to meet ‘the one’ online.

But when someone swipes right for you on Tinder, just remember how many other matches they’ve had, and how many more matches they might get…

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