Written by Jack Strange

Is this season of Celebrity Big Brother the worst yet? This twenty something thinks so…

I’ve been an avid watcher of Big Brother for many years. I grew up with thanks to two sisters who forced me to watch it. I cried when somebody left, I remember Davina presenting, I remember many diary room chairs, and I still think the best season was when Nikki Grahame was in there.

But since Big Brother has moved to Channel 5, it hasn’t quite matched up to what it used to be on Channel 4. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some good seasons on C5. Many good twists have kept me hooked. But this season, which launched on Tuesday, is starting to make me question just how real Big Brother is.

Let’s start with launch night – yes, some of you may have come here wondering where the live launch live blogging was. The Hipster Bible is slowly getting a new rebrand, so unfortunately there hasn’t been much time. Anyway, launch night was great. It had a new set, and a second house! But the housemates that went in to this series of civilian Big Brother were not civilians. You’ve got Marco Pierre White’s son, Lateysha Grace from MTV’s The Valleys, Georgina Leigh from Taking New York, an Ex-BBC journalist, and a stunt double from James Bond.

Then you’ve got The Others, a second house that includes a few people who aren’t housemates, but have links to the main housemates. Kind of like Ex on The Beach. Inside the second house, we’ve got a guy from X Factor and a girlfriend of the James Bond double.

However, on launch night Big Brother producers kept it quiet that these people were minor celebrities, and probably hoped we wouldn’t notice. Lateysha said nothing about appearing on an MTV show which ran for three seasons. Georgina just ‘lived in New York’, and we were supposed to accept that. Whilst I don’t mind too much about the minor celebrities entering the civilian series, it did have me questioning why this wasn’t saved until the next celebrity season in September.

Then, things get a bit more strange. Remember Marco Pierre White’s son? Marco Pierre White Jnr? Well, he has got a showmance going with Laura, a tabloid girl who loves to party. But ding ding ding, it turns out that Laura actually knows Marco! They were photographed together 9 weeks ago in a club in London, which was uploaded to Marco’s Instagram. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it, why the two have never said they actually know each other? Laura implied the pair have only just met. Strange. Very strange.

Then we’ve got the twins. Two earth loving girls who love nothing but trees, positivity and being vegan. Being in the house, one twin, Victoria, had some sort of breakdown. She wasn’t feeling it. She didn’t like that there were no trees. She hated not being able to feel the earth beneath her feet, because the grass in the house is nothing but fake. She walks, breaking out with her twin, and they see the second house and see recently ‘evicted’ Alex and Jackson in the garden. The twins disappear for the remainder of last nights episode, but we do know that one twin is staying in the house.

But in last nights episode, millionaire Chelsea, who knows someone else from The Others house, and Marco broke out and the pair saw the second house and Alex. Marco then re-enters the house with Chelsea and tells people that there is a second house and Alex is still here. Thus, the twist that Channel 5 spent so much money on has now been ruined.

Another thing – in last nights episode The Others got into a rather loud argument which the housemates could hear. Lateysha asks, ‘Can you hear someone?’ and Jackson tells them all to be quiet. Yet nothing comes of this. Once it cuts back to the argument thats it. Were housemates really not questioning why there was an argument just outside their garden?

Then we’ve got Sam and Ryan. Sam is a housemate, Ryan is a loud-mouthed X Factor reject. They have a past. A few years ago, Sam stopped talking to Ryan because Ryan was ‘trying to be him’. Fair enough, but a VT was played to The Others that was of Sam, filmed during his auditions. In his ‘audition’ he is talking all about Ryan. Now, it does make me wonder – what are the chances that this guy, who regularly gets VIP in clubs, happened to have a past with an X Factor reject? And why would Sam, after not talking to Ryan for a few years, go into his Big Brother audition and talk about Ryan?

Then we’ve got Jason, a housemate, and Charlie, an other. They have recently broken up. Yet Jason talks all about dumping Charlie in his VT. That just wouldn’t really happen.

This season is creaming rigged, fakery and set up. Whilst I don’t believe the votes are set up, I do believe that producers are pulling the strings, that they have cast these batch of housemates, and that storylines and possibly even a bit of scripting is going on.

This season is such a disaster it’s becoming entertaining. And isn’t that all that matters? Okay, so we haven’t got normal people. Do we need them?

Is it any wonder that Big Brother is slowly becoming Ex on the Beach, when Channel 5 is owned by the same person who owns MTV and Comedy Central? Is it any wonder that executives and producers are trying to bring in a bigger audience than they already have, because times have changed? Big Brother has to develop, does it not, to stay on TV.

The issue here is Big Brother is slowly annihilating die hard fans. And the USP for Big Brother is it’s die hard fans. It’s whacky originality is what made it great. But slowly, Big Brother is losing that personality. It is losing that trait. It is becoming a house where everyone is already a something. There is nobody like us. There is no Pete, no Nikki, no Jade or Chantelle. And that is the problem.

Jack Strange is an author from South Wales. His debut novel, ‘Winter Smith: London’s Burning’, is out now. 

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